Scientists say that the very things that nurture love -- comfort, stability, safety -- can extinguish sexual desire - but does it have to?
According to Esther Perel, a licensed marriage and family therapist, one complaint rings true across all cultures: couples who describe themselves as loving, trusting and caring complain that their sex lives have become dull and devoid of eroticism.
She says that it is commonly viewed that sexual problems are the result of relationship problems -- namely, lack of communication. Find out about the state of the union first; see how it manifests in the bedroom second. The premise is that if sexual problems are the consequence of the relationship, fix the relationship and the sex will follow.
See therapist David Schnarch's video on Why Marriage Kills Sex, right now, right here.